if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
