dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
