kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
