The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
