I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
