I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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