i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
