I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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