What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
