The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
