Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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