U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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