your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
