Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
