Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
