4 words: hood of his car
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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