i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
