I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
