Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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