I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
