Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
