She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I am mentally ready for anal.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
