Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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