I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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