dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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