I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
