he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
