At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
