they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
