I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
