I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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