things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
