I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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