Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My vagina is officially offended.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
