Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
