i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
