my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
