is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
