I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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