I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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