Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
