What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
