lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
