I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
