I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
there is glitter all over my balls
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
