Do you still have your period?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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