I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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