The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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