You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
