"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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