the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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